As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…

Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

Sometimes, I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap eight people at once.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself - well, so far so good!

Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.